A Way into Headspace
Last revised: December 04, 2012. "G"

Hot wax in sex play is used to increase Adrenalin and thus arousal.
Hot waxplay, in its simplest form, is when consenting adults hold a candle over a person and drip wax.. Occasionally people will drip wax on their submissive's genital area or insert a long candle into the vagina or anus and let the wax run down the sides of the candle until the area is obscured, often times until a large mound is formed

The temperature of the wax hitting the submissive is regulated by the distance the candle is held above the submissive. The temperature becomes cooler in proportion to its height. Ice and/or cold water should be kept on hand for accidents or simply to alternate the sensations.

The following information is provided so that you may have an understanding of wax play and safety during waxplay. If you are a novice or experienced to waxplay, please read through and research before starting.

I accept NO responsibility or liability for how you play. Please remember Safe, Sane and Consensual.

Safety Intro
The temperature of any wax used should stay under 110 degrees Fahrenheit. If wax gets hotter than this scalding of your submissive may occur. The temperature of wax can be tested on the inside of your wrist just as though you were checking the temperature of a baby bottle. You should also keep very cold water or ice and burn ointment nearby in the event of an accidental burn.

Make sure your submissive is not wearing any oil based lotions / perfume.

I personally like a fire extinguisher close by as a tipped over candle could start a fire really fast.  An out of control fire with a submissive tied down is never a good thing.

Remember the 11th commandment…..Thou shall not damage thy sub.

Different Types of Wax and Colors
Candle wax for BDSM play should not cause burns. There will be reddening of the skin but this should clear up in a few hours at the most.

Avoid beeswax candles. Beeswax burns at a much higher temperature than plain paraffin candles and can cause burns.
Avoid beef tallow candles. Wax made from animal fat can be extremely hot and cause burning.
Avoid candles with metallic colors. These often contain poisonous metallic salts.
Avoid scented candles. Scented candles burn at a higher temperature and may cause scalding.
Avoid candles with metal wicks, metal wick can drip hot molten metal on the submissive

Use plain 100% paraffin candles, these burn at a safer temperature for hot waxplay. Remember, color does affect the temperature at which candles melt. Red candles tend to drip hotter than black or white.   Some other wannabe bdsm candles makers will tell you that melting point is a;; that matters and not color, yes candles of same wax will all melt at same temperature but its color that retains the heat some longer then others, anyone who tells you differently offer to have debate about on a sunny beach you will wear white shirt and them black shirt and remind them the sun will be no hotter on them then you.

The only types of candles sold by Candleman aka TenderDom are made of low temperature wax plus dye.  No scents are added or metallic colors sold unless they are special ordered.

Suggestions Before Getting Started
A few good pointers before starting the scene... To avoid a big mess to clean up, have the submissive lay on top of a cheap vinyl shower curtain or table cloth. Do the waxing in an area that can be easily vacuumed or swept. If wax is spilled on carpet or bed sheets...good luck getting it out...don't use your best sheet.

 If the submissive is very hairy, have them shaved or place saran wrap over them for easy removal, or try using wax that will not stick to the hair.  Our jar candles are made from wax that will not stick to hair.

 You may also choose to restrain the bottom/submissive. Restraints are a good idea if candles are placed to where the bottom/submissive can accidentally knock them over, but be certain to use quick release restraints. (House Fire + restrained sub = serious trouble)

A waxing scene like the pictures on the previous page can take up to 90 minutes or longer. At some point the submissive will need to move a little. The dragon and phoenix shield waxing took over 3 hours each, so make sure your submissive will be comfortable for the long term, and make sure they pee before. Also drinks with bendable straws are nice ( if you want to be nice )

Make sure you have a fire extinguisher and/or wet blanket for safety issues and burn ointment.  

Watch out for puddling in low areas like belly buttons ( if they are "inny" ) , This can make heat too concentrated.  What I normally do is purposely pour just a little wax into belly button and keep adding a little more after it sets up. This will basically "fill" the area so it can't puddle up there at the hottest temperature. Plus you can pull it out afterwards and show them a mold of their belly button!  This mold idea also works for the pussy if you do it thick enough. I love to pull it off and show it to them and say "See what you pussy looks like! "

These are suggestions from Me and my personal experiences.




        It is best to start off with wax that has no added colors. Drip little bits of wax at varying heights and areas of the body to help the submissive get into headspace and to help build up a tolerance. Start using the various colors, remembering that different colors burn at different temperatures.

This is information on color from a submissive I have waxed:  The only one, I have been able to notice a difference in is fluorescent yellow. To me fluorescent yellow feels cold. Talking to some other submissive, I was informed they were more sensitive to other colors.

Go for a steady series of drops. Rotate the candles around while dripping so it burns evenly or a smooth pour from the larger candles. Constantly, drip the wax at various heights and different areas. Different areas of the body may not be able to tolerate as much as other areas i.e. private sensitive areas.

With someone who I have not played with before or has never tried wax, I sometimes will tap on the body where I'm about to drip the wax at the start and as the scene gets more into it, fade that away. This allows the submissive to focus where to expect the wax and as she starts getting into sub space you fade the tapping away.

Make various designs. Use your imagination. (see below waxing 301)

For females the breasts, nipples and vagina can be very erotic. One of my favorite waxing scenes was done at 1763; she was happily covered in wax from her neck down to her toes. 5 Doms dripping wax built a solid coat from neck to her toes. And 48 candles later she was grinning from ear to ear.  A submissive described the wax running down her vagina as "like a 1000 little warm fingers."

For males the thighs, cock and balls are especially sensitive. You can make a "penis mold" by totally coating the area.  One trick I heard is to encase the penis soft in wax and then get him hard and have him break through the wax shell.

I love to pour a small amount onto my hand and then rub it on the submissive, like massaging the breast with warm wax or other areas

Ice is another good thing to add... a little fire and ice. One idea is take the ice in your hand and let it melt and drip on to the submissive... they feel something hit their skin and they are expecting heat and their mind goes noooo  wait a minute …  it's a very nice mind fuck .  Another idea is to take a piece of ice and wax it onto the body  or cut a little piece of the wax and slide it into the hole.  Then when it melts they get a rush of cold water and it's a lot like the votives, another fun thing to do is to put a piece of ice next to a votive, the submissive will never know when they are going to get fire or ice !!!!!

If you have a hairy submissive, hairy chest or hairy private areas, and are nervous about using my wax that does not stick to hair: Wrap your submissive in plastic wrap to keep the wax from sticking to hair.  Mummification is a trip all by itself so adding hot wax can take it to a whole new level.  Or if you want to be really sadistic, let the wax stick to the hair and the removal will be a lot of pain. NEVER USE oils i.e. baby oil on a submissive beforehand. I have seen others do this but in my opinion this is like coating your submissive in cooking oil before throwing them in the oven.

Temporary Branding with wax!

This works best if the submissive has light skin, and everyone is different so it could last from a few minutes to a few hours. You take a Plastic cookie cutter and place it on submissive, and pour warm wax into the cutter and let it set. Continuing to add more hot wax as the submissive can handle it will prolong the heat and help make the temporary brand brighter & last longer. Please remember when you pour wax into concentrated area be sure to give time for them to adjust to the temperature. Once the wax cools peel off the mold with the wax and you will have that shape temporarily branded on your submissive. You can do cool things hearts, hand prints, and one of my favorite is letters and you can spell out nice things: Slut, Whore, Slave, Cock Whore, etc.





If you intend to use votives, allow some of the wax to pool in one of the candles. Pour enough wax to hold the votives in place. Place the votives on and hold until the wax sets. As the votives melt, the spilling will add to the sensation. The votives hold the wax until towards the end of the scene, and then can overflow in a rush of warm sensation. Or you can shake the submissive a little and make it flow out or tickle her and watch her try not to move. (make sure the votives are attached VERY well if you're going to try this) The submissive is now in a higher headspace and tolerance level. Also, it helps convincing the submissive to remain still unless they want a lot of wax poured on at once. Check the votives throughout the scene to make sure they have not burned down too far, and as the wax softens make sure the wick does not fall over.

Jar Candles




 Jars have gotten to be my new favorite waxing candles. When using jar candles EACH time before you light them you need to check them for cracks, even a small crack in glass when heat / flame hits it can cause it to shatter or piece could fall off in middle of scene and nothing will mess up scene more then hot piece of glass falling on your submissive.

I have found some submissive hate the feel of wax dripping on them. They like feeling of warm wax but there something about the dripping.  One thing you can try is get a cheap paint brush and dip the brush in wax and paint it on the submissive they get feel of warm brush on there skin.  This works well for crock pots and jar candles. 

Jars are nice you can get a lot of wax in a little time. You can pour it on slowly or cover them with  a large amount at one time.  Which is what  I like to do once the submissive is flying and maybe thin coat is already covering the area, splash a large amount on the genital area.

BDSMwaxplay jar candles DOES NOT STICK TO HAIR , so this is good for hairy male submissive or female that does not shave down below.

Crock Pots
Wax can also be melted in crock pot. Most of these have two setting High and Low, you will need to fine tune your setting a little more. How I do this is get crock pot and cut a dimmer switch into the cord. Do not buy cheap switch this will not allow you to fine tune the temperate wax well enough.

Do not put the wax right into the crock pot, put into metal pitcher, metal coffee can, anything that will make it like a double boiler. Once the wax is at just above its melting point, you can use all types of fun stuff to get the wax on the submissive from a coffee cup, turkey baster, spoon, paint brush (don't use anything that you will want to use later ) also you can pour it into cup .. let it cool a little more before pouring or brushing it on the submissive.

Art Wax and Designs ( Waxing 301 )




As you see in some of my "Art Waxing",  this one of my favorite things to do since it is a mixture of my two passions  art and wax. This is a lot easier then it looks.  But it does take a lot of time the Hello Kitty took 4 people 5 hours and Egyptian one also took 4 people 5 hours took me about 3 hours EACH. So make sure you submissive has peed, you have well padded waxing table and maybe drink with bendable straw.        
What I normally do is I have crock pot with clear wax in it for the basic coat. Put this coat on very thick (about ¼" thick, plus or minus).  Then I take a knife and cut the pattern into the think coat of wax. Not all the way threw yet.  Once you're happy with the layout you can cut the wax deeper and remove the pieces you want to wax with different colors. The skin will be a little sensitive, depending on color your using you may need to put another small coat of clear. When you're ready to add color, best way is to have jars already lit and paint brushes ready. You can use template and patterns to cut out the shape you need. Its that simple

Wax Removal




Removing the wax can be just as erotic and full of sensation as the actual waxing.

From pass submissive: Master loves to remove the wax very slowly after it has cooled down a little. I think he does it to torture me.

If you are into knife play, this is a good time to do it. You can remove the wax mold intact and keep it as a souvenir. After removing the majority of the wax, try using a knife to scrape the wax off or rubbing with baby oil. The skin is very sensitive once the wax is removed. If you have wand with body pad, you can added a little electricity with wax removal. DO NOT worry about sparks lighting the left over oil that was in the wax. This can not happen the flash point of wax oil is not low enough for sparks to light.  




If you have any questions or comments, please email

All information is a combination from handouts received at a waxing class held at the Eagle in Atlanta and from our own experience. Tenderdom  lil pet brat, sarah, Naughty Knitter

Waxing - A Trip to Ecstasy author unknown

Site created by Tim C aka TenderDom aka Candleman
 © Copyright BDSMwaxplay, 2001.              Last revised: December 04, 2012.   

All of my products are sold as NOVELTIES ONLY. Tim C dba TenderDom aka Candleman owners take no responsibility for injury or any other complications that may arise from use of any of the candles. Descriptions are for conversation only and not meant in any way to imply use of novelty items.

All Rights Reserved. All Photos and Text appearing within this listing are the property of or licensed to Candleman aka TenderDom.  Copying without written permission may be legally actionable.

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